


Love longer than love

by oreganseal



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt Liam, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 01:26:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2754401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oreganseal/pseuds/oreganseal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam does a bad thing and the boys help Zayn. But Zayn needs to tell the boys something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Undue stress

Knock knock knock knock. "Fly me to the moon and back" Louis slowly reaches over Harry to get his phone, its fucking 3am.

"Hello?" still half asleep, Harry also just waking up sliding his arm up and down Louis.   
He hears breathing quick and sobbing he tries to work out who of his band mates would be in this state in this manner. So he goes into sarcasm "what's up bud, big night" winking at Harry hoping for a yeah, got drunk, pissed as, can I crash. Instead what he gets is "Louis" and a broken sob "you need to check on Zayn, I'm going to go" "wait" Louis yells into the phone, he looks to Harry mouthing 'go to Zayns NOW', "Liam, its ok, you know love, just come over, have a cuppa or something yeah" another sob comes from the phone. "I hurt him" and then he's gone.

Louis quickly redials Liams number and Harry is slipping on jeans and a tshirt, no one answers. Louis gives a quick kiss and says "babe, I don't know what happened but you have to look after him" Harry smiles back, winking kissing "you look after him too".

An hour later Harry is knocking on the door of Liam and Zayns apartment, knock knock knock knock. Until he thinks fuck this, and uses his own set of keys and enters. He tries to keep his voice light and manageable fearing what is behind those doors "Zayn" he keeps his voice high and positive "Zaynie" teasing a little bit until he sees what is before him.

Zayn is on the floor, blood leaking down his thighs, tears still falling and he is shaking. Harry rushes over to cuddle him and Zayn suddenly awake says "where's Liam" Harry pauses for a moment feeling unsettled "um, he's fine babe, why don't we just get you up" feeling sick at the blood. He carries Zayn back to the bed and kisses his forehead, he brushes his hand against Zayns cheek. He bring a wet towel and rubs it over Zayns thighs, it ends up red. He goes for casual as he asks "babe do you want me to call an ambulance" to which Zayn replies "NO" then after a moment "its not his fault" and falls into mute sobbing. 

After driving and calling Liam for an hour Louis is terrified. He normally wouldn't do this but he can't by himself "urg what is it Lou" Niall answers, "ah, Nialler, oh thank god ah fuck shit" Niall seems to be more awake now "Lou, LOU what the fuck is going on?" "zaynishurtharryisthereandimlooking for Liam" Niall is calm "ok, so Zayn is hurt and.... you can't find Liam? he questions. "I don't know what to do" and he breaks sobbing. "well, ah just tell me where you are" Louis draws in a deep breath and under his breath "how could this happen" Niall leans closer to the phone saying "we will find him, its ok" even though he doesn't know what has happened "just tell me where you are Lou" instead Lou says "i'll pick you up, we have to keep going" Niall just says ok and lifts the warm arm around his waist off.

It's so strange Liam thinks, it all feels very distant, he feels aloft but then the moment he thinks about hurting his angel he just want to puke. His phone keeps buzzing in his side pocket. He hopes his baby is ok, and the he weeps again out loud "oh god Zayn, I'm so so sorry" he goes to the ledge of the bridge and looks down. 

Zayn knows Harry is just trying to help, and he does feel more comfortable and clean. Harry's phone goes off and he turns in his somewhat sleep, Harry just runs his fingers through his hair whilst whispering "just got to get this babe" placing a small kiss on his lips. Harry keeps his eyes on Zayn saying quietly "what the fuck is happening?, its actually Niall on the phone "we" he hears Louis in the background crying "uh, we can't find him and he won't answer his phone". Harry keeps his cool in front of Zayn before saying "well have you been to all his favourite places"

He can hear Louis in the background spilling his guts up before Niall says "of course we fucking have, do you think we would fucking, god fucking darn it" Harry says quietly "well maybe we can talk to Zayn, he might know"   
"where is Liam?" is the first thing Zayn asks, Harry softly hits him with a pillow before saying "he's alright love, Niall and Louis will be over in just a bit, your right babe" and he snuggles into Zayn. And Zayn is instantly up squinting at the pain "Harry" he says "Where is Liam" he is panicked, he picks up his own phone dialling Liams number before Harry can grab the phone. It goes to voicemail, Harry can hardly hold back his tears when Zayn leaves his message... "Babe, babe, its me" and Harry can see Zayn smiling "just come home love, love" tears fall down his face "I can't be without you" Zayn is starting to shake uncrollabliy "LIAM, LIAM...PLEASEEEE" Harry pulls him into a strong hug just as Louis and Niall arrive.

Liam almost answers the call before he can't. He slides down the side of the bridge and sits. A beep alerts him to a new message and with that he throw his phone off the bridge. After a moment it almost feels like relief, and he thinks to himself... what if everything could be a relief.

Louis and Harry instantly dive on each other gathering around Zayn while Niall cuddles him closely. Very softly Harry asks "Zayn, what actually happened?". Zayn breathes in and out kissing Niall softly on the cheek before saying "I know where he is".

Louis looks up in surprise, Harry a little weary before Zayn is pulling away from Niall and muttering to himself "no, no, I know where he is" and its a bit confronting and a bit scary "he must be at the pink one, he always liked the pink one" all faces look up at him expectantly "you know the one with the... whatever" he is pulling on his joggers and tshirt about to go before Harry asks and lays a hand upon him "babe your still hurt, maybe Louis and I could..." 

Liam looks at the graffiti and sighs, how beautiful his boyfriend is, how reckless, he imagines now those crafted high cheeks and lovely lashes, he sits in front of the artwork. He feels like Zayn is an artwork, one that he destroyed. Its only then he takes the broken bottle and slides it against his skin saying "I love you Zayn, I will love you forever" and he feels resolved looking at Zayns artwork and looking down at his wrists thinking 'whoops'.

It is Niall that is in Zayns face saying "come on bro, you cant go we boys got this" and now Zayn is pissed. So it is agreed they all will go. 

Harry is driving looking behind himself at Zayn who looks murderous whilst Louis just keeps wringing his hands. They stop when Zayn huffs 'this is the place' and slowly it goes to shit. They all see it, Liam in a pool of blood.  
"Liam" Zayn yells as Harry holds him against him, Louis is calling 911 as Niall is trying to do CPR. Zayn suddenly escapes Harrys hold running for Liam. Louis and Harry look at each other alarmed. But Zayn is just curled in Liam next saying "do something, do something" and Liam whispers "angel" before his lids fall closed. Zayn is next to him repeating "don't go, please don't go love, please don't go. don't go" before Louis is pulling him back into a hard embrace and lets him sob and scream.


	2. Before this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little summary of life before

life - 3 months earlier - and probably before that - and forever

Zayn he whispers to himself totally abashed and enthralled by this beautiful being. "Zaynie" he says out loud rubbing his hand against the stuble and smiling to himself. Zayne finally rolls over and smiles and drawls out "leeyum". He feels disconnected "babe, I made us some breakfast got to go work with Louis later yeah". Zayne sort of smiles there is a pillow mark on his face which Liam just strokes. Liam just goes back to the kitchen and brings in the platter of eggs, tomato and mushrooms. He arrives back and Zayn is somewhat waking up, so Liam leans in carefully to carefully take a chaste kiss. Zayne smiles "your too good for me babe" stops to peck Liams lips and honestly Liam thinks he's breath smells terrible but that's love.

Liam smiles and slides against Zayn. Sharing the breakfast. It's a peacful quite, until Liam says "me and Lou have a good lyric going" he watches carefully out of the corner of his eye. Zayn is still munching on his mushrooms and mumbles "yeah, what's that babe" he doesn't know why he is so embarrased around Zayn, in front of the media he is the lead man answering questions putting up with fucking Louis (bless him) he really couldn't have got through this without him.

He finally gets back to reality when Zayn is looking at him apprehensive "babe?" Liam smiles at him biting his lip remembering... "well it's sort of 'we figured it out' 'we met in the middle' I want you to sing that bit" Liam shrugs to himself, its important. Zayn slides on top of him now making his heart beat faster breakfast forgotten. He kisses his birthmark and slides lower his beautiful hazel eyes blown saying softly "it's perfect love, perfect" as he kisses softly at Liams hip. Liam could never not be fascinated.   
\--  
The heart beat monitor jumps beeping loudly, too quickly then too slow. Dr Reeve nods at the nurses knowing it is now just a stabilising game.  
\---  
Liam strolls into the studio to find Louis waiting "well, well, well, what do we have here" Louis drawls but now Liam knows its in good nature, replying "better than a fruit bat" Louis eyebrows quirk then ease and he is doubling over "fuck Liam, what have I created" he hoops his arms around Liams neck giving him a quick bro-kiss. Liam whispers into his neck 'I could't have done this without you'. Louis pulls away in his little sassy way "whatever" going to go sit by the piano "and i'll take my coffee with cream... " looking up at Liam "actually two".

Liam smiles, takes his jacket off and goes to make the coffee, its always his job, but he doesn't mind, not really. Louis and him are business partners now... that oughta mean something, after a pretty brutal and actually fairly abusive start they are now bros and it means the world to him. 

He walks back over to Louis placing the coffee on the piano and an arm around his back, then taking a sip of his own coffee "so what is Styles up to today?" fiddling with the keys on the piano playing chopsticks, Louis smiles (Louis really does have the lovliest smile when he doesn't want to kill a bitch) and goes to pinch his nipple, knowing this he grabs his hand ... so they end up holding hands as he speaks "fucked if I know" he looks down "probably hook up with that cunt Grimshaw, I don't give a motherfuck" (Louis also has the worst potty mouth of anyone he had ever met). Liam smiles to himself and says casually "nah, called up Nialler earlier who seems determined to play" he sees Lou try not to smile "some walking dead? dead soldier?" Lou biting his lip "dead war... I don't know kill something?" and he breaks out laughing. "You are such a fucking dork lee-yum (he says deliberately) and a small 'thanks', they are still holding hands.  
\---  
Louis is now in the mode of I am really going to cut a bitch "well i'm just going to go see him right now" one of the nurses is telling him that "sorry sir but Mr Payne is in a critical condition" Niall is running his hand up and down is back, Harry and Zayn are fuck knows where "Niall stop it" he says suddenly and feels like he has kicked a million kittens. "FUCK THIS" he walks out grabbing Nialls wrist.  
\---  
Zayn slides out of his bed stretching completely naked. He loves the hit of wind tickling his nipples and sensitive cock which he rubs thinking 'maybe could go for a wank' before grabbing his box of smokes, pulls one out while placing himself on the window shelf. He lights up taking a long draw as he texts Liam thanks for brekky babe xox he puts the phone down, as he exhales, he doesnt really expect a response as he is working and him and Louis are thick as thieves and just about as brilliant. He sits back against the pane smiling. 

His phone buzzes next to him as he slides a hand through his dark locks until it catches and he drags on his smoke again. Fuck Liam was so beautiful this morning as he fucked into him so willing, so loving. He grabs the spunk out of his hair and reads the message, his surprised actually, its a photo of Liam and Louis at the piano with a message love you love. Another message comes a moment later could you take the trash out, sorry I forgot..garbage is tonight. Love you. Zayn typed back no worries babe x sending as he worked his cock, he then leant back taking a picture of it before quickly sending it off. Smirking as he pulled another cigarette out.


	3. Harry, something happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is calm, Harry is a friend.

Zayn is dragging on his cigarette, his third in a row, hands shaking being supported mostly by the wall of the fire exit outside the hospital. Harry is quiet, watching inquisitively and nervously as if a coil could spring loose at any moment. Zayn exhales the smoke quickly, taking another long drag… quickly, finishing half of it before stomping it out on the pavement and automatically reaching for another. Harry moves to still his hand on the pack of smokes. Zayn glances up almost bewildered, as if he forgot Harry was even there.

‘Zayn, come on, you reckon you might want to go in now? See how, um he’s doing’ Harry continued to circle gently up and around Zayn’s knuckles which were gripped on his cigarette pack, he also thought to himself it’s fucking freezing out here and questioned whether he should even be encouraging Zayn to see Liam. Zayn is just watching Harry’s ministrations to his hand ‘you know’ continuing, going for quirky ‘they might actually think there’s a fire out here if you have another of those things’ he smiles slightly, Zayn always appreciates the quirk. 

Zayn snaps his hand back and pulls out another cigarette, wildfire Harry thinks, in his eyes before he speaks quietly ‘actually no’ Zayn smiles to himself which is more manic than anything ‘I really don’t think I want to go and see how the love of my life is doing after he slit his wrists so deep that he managed to nearly drown in his own blood’, ‘but you know, thanks for askin’.

Zayn starts flicking desperately at his lighter, smoke hanging from his dry lips ‘for FUCKS SAKE’ and crumples in on himself. Harry reaches out to slowly rub his back ‘it’s ok hun, it’s going to be alright’ maybe ‘here, give it to me’. Zayn rightens himself as he hands over the lighter, Harry easily gets it going and leans forward to light the cigarette. The spark illuminates Zayn’s face which looks at little hollow and frightening.

‘Well are you going give me one or what’ Harry motions to the pack. Zayn pops out a cigarette which Harry lights up and starts to puff at. They stand there in silence, both in their own reverie. Harry feels a bit floaty and a bit warm, hmmm maybe this is why Zee smokes but he knows it’s only having that effect because his system isn’t used to it. He also feels calmer, after the fucking night or morning they have had, seems almost…

‘Harry, something happened’ he is drawn out of his dreamlike (that was the word he was searching for) state and says quite slowly but impatiently ‘well Zayn, we fucking know that something fucking happened’. Zayn seems nervous now taking little huffs ‘I need to tell you something’ ‘um, now’… ‘I spiked Liam’s coke with coke’. Harry is in the middle of a drag and it doesn’t really register, as Zayn continues ‘I convinced Liam to go to a club right? Like we never do anything fun anymore, just eat fucking dinner, make love, feed the fucking dogs’ Zayn looks at Harry ‘I just wanted to have some fun, you know? I wanted to dance’. Zayn turns his head to the pavement flicking off the ash.

Harry is motionless, Zayn is hopping side to side, dawn has started to break, the first ray seemingly to hit Harry right in the face ‘you wanted to dance?’ his voice breaking at the last. Zayn starts to speak ‘I know it wasn’t a chill..’ Harry raises his hand ‘you wanted to fucking dance’ he never gets angry, he is Harry fucking Styles, he speaks slowly he considers things he trusts when trust is earned he sees the good in people, like Liam, Liam his saint which is lying in an emergency ward somewhere in there. Zayn must notice the change because he looks like his going to bolt, Harry grabs his wrist harsh ‘so, Zayn, then what happened’.

Tears are starting to trickle down Zayn’s face now, Harry has not released his wrist ‘it was fine’ ‘it really was’ he is hiccupping ‘the club was great we danced’ pausing ‘it was fine till we got home’ Zayn releases a breath. ‘Liam kept saying his head hurt, talking to himself, I said take some panadol babe… I got, I got them for him’, ‘he said ok angel, we went to bed’. Harry starts to say ‘isn’t this critical information…’

‘what’s critical information?’ the fire exit bangs open which presents a flustered Louis and apologetic Niall. ‘huh, thought I’d find you out here, anyway those bitches’ um ‘lovely nurses that are trying to help our dearest friend’ Niall interrupts, Louis side eyes him and continues ‘those bitches won’t even give me a fucking update ‘no, sorry sir’ ‘no, he is in a critical condition’ Louis continues in a shrill voice ‘cunts’. ‘hey Zayn, give me a smoke bud I’m god damn over today and it ain’t over’ Zayn and Harry haven’t moved and Louis actually surveys the situation, Harry drops Zayn’s wrist which will probably bruise. Zayn slowly hands over a cigarette. ‘what is going on Harry’ his eyes narrowing in. Niall is actually latched to Louis back, which is never a good sign ‘Harry? Tell me’ ‘TELL ME’.

‘Zayn coked his coke, he put coke in his coke…he’ Harry goes to Lou but he isn’t having it. Louis looks to Zayn ‘you fucking useless fuck’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have taken liberties with the songwriting of 'You and I' also with medical stuff. Hope you enjoy.


	4. The inevitable call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little real. Karen is worried

Everyone is silent, shocked. Louis has fled and the mock morning is interrupted by the ring of Harrys phone. 'Fuck' Harry shakes as he answers and mouths to the boys 'Karen'.

"Hi love" Karen is cheerful but her tone indicates otherwise, "Li said he would call me last night, so I tried to call him this morning but his phone is giving me this message saying its been disconnected I know its nothing to worry about but you know he always calls when he says he will, I know you boys are busy and Li is working really hard...you know he loves you boys" and a pause "Harry?"

"Karen, I.. I something..." Harry mutters.

"why the fuck is she calling you, what the fuck"

"Is that Zayn? you guys are working hard..."

"Karen, can you hold on just a sec" Harry mutes the phone.

"Niall get Zayn the fuck out of my face right now". "Why is she calling you? What the fuck" Zayn is completely ropeable, Niall trying to restrain him, he grabs Harrys phone. "Hi Karen, its Zayn"

"oh, hi love, was just wondering why Li's phone is disconnected" she laughs lightley. 

"why didn't you call me? me first?"

"I did hun, but you didn't anwer love" its at that moment that Zayn rembers he left his phone at home and has no idea what to say. 

Niall is hopping on the spot and gesturing to cut it, Harry is just fucked. "oh, yah, I think I left my phone at home I'm sorry"

Geoff is now in the background "did you get onto Liam, he said he would call you"

"Geoff I haven't even talked to him yet , I'm talking to Zayn and Harry love"

"well, tell him he shouldn't promise to call his mother and then not"

"oh, for gods sake Geoff. Zayn, is Liam there?"

Harry and Niall are watching Zayn closely, he is shaking violently. "I Karen, I" 

"Zayn" she sounds nervous "Zayn love" 

"It's...I it's I just it's just I, I" he looks to Harry before passing out.

Harrys phone is dropped and dead.

\---

Louis is chewing and sawing his fingernails. It's not right, it's not right. Dr Reeve took the time to actually talk to him and said 'Liam will be ok' whilst resting a hand on his shoulder. And now he is sitting on an uncomfortable chair next to his bed wondering if that is actually true as he looks at the hooks, beeps, monitors and bandaged wrists.

"I look terrible Li, not even like a proper pop star, not even beraggled enough to look slooshy" he turns Liams hand in his own. 'Wake up you stupid fuck' "Please wake up".

He hops on the bed and carefully rests his head on his shoulder. "I like that song, I love the verse, but you are a terrible person, my coffee was too hot this morning" babe, love, sweet. He places his palm to his bearded face, "Liam? Can you here me?" the beeps keep beeping and Lou thinks that can not be enough and cries into his unresponsive friends neck.

\---

"Can someone get a fecking doctor" Niall rushes into the emergency room "my friend, my friend just passed out" "Please!".

\---

Harry did catch him, he did. And now he is waiting for Niall and the doctors. With Zayns head in his lap, peaceful, he holds hope. His lashes even seem tired and he needs to talk to Karen, Karen must be anxious. But he just runs his fingers through black careless looking hair and prays he doesn't pass out too.

The morning hasn't been calm, it could be the most. A shock of noise and blur and emergency. Harry lifts his head and says "my friend".

The people take Zayn but also put patches and heart monitors on him "no, no I'm fine".

\---

"I just lost Zayn, Geoff I'm really worried" Karen is stalking the floor of their house "what is going on?"

"well, try that Louis fellow, or Niall...Niall always knows what is going on"

"why do you always say that Louis fellow?"

"he bullied my son Karen, he hurt him"

"but that's long past, they love each other, Li said he is one of his best friends"

"well maybe that Louis hurt him again?"

"he wouldn't...I'm going to try that Louis fellow"

\---

Harry walks into the room after Zayn got looked after, he finds Lou on the bed holding Liam like his life depends on it. Its telling its beautiful, he slides onto the bed on the other side of Liam and clasps Louis hand. 

"Liam?" Liam. Harry tries. "darling we are all tired, we miss you even for this small time" 

"you know we are here, me and Lou and Niall, you know we can't live without you" 

"I love you" I can't believe I said that out loud "but I do"

Fly me to the moon starts to play

"Lou? It's Karen..."


	5. 7 years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam is rapping to the steady beat of a low beat, he smirks at Lou who is laying down a sweet underlay tune. He gives a thumbs up for which in response he gets a finger. He laughs quietly.
> 
> Nobody knows you baby the way I do  
> Nobody loves you baby the way I do
> 
> “you ever think about him” Lou asks
> 
> Liam rests his chin on the small hand on his shoulder, “if you mean every minute of every second of every moment then yes”
> 
> “god Liam you are so fucking hopeless”
> 
> “I suppose I am” he looks at him, the full Liam stare is a beautiful thing.
> 
> “darling, maybe you should call him” hmm.
> 
> Liam still sends birthday cards to Zayns nieces and responds to his aunts twitter, and sends flowers to Zayns mum every month because he knows she appreciates it. 
> 
> Liam shakes his head “nah Lou, he is over me…see him in that Vogue spread and that new fudging model, nah” he pauses “nah”
> 
> “well then, we better finish this ‘fudging’ beat” Lou looks up slyly “I meant to say fucking by the way”
> 
> Liam punches him lightly and is so happy for this undignified steady never ending friendship.

10 years later


End file.
